Tips for dealing with those affected
Tips for dealing with those affected
What I can say and what I should rather avoid
Talking to someone about their current well-being can be a challenge, especially if you don't know the person very well. The right words are not always easy to find. There are some things you should avoid saying in conversation as they can be stigmatizing and judgmental. Further down on this page you will find two bingo fields, the left one showing example statements that you should rather avoid. The right-hand field, on the other hand, gives you some inspiration and examples that you can use instead.
FACTS
You can find more information about depression here:
- Immediate help and contact points
- Causes and development
- Approaches
- Tips for dealing with those affected
- Options for prevention
What is the best way to approach a person if I suspect that they may be affected by depressive syndrome?
Speak to the person
Ask them how they are feeling and, if necessary, express your observations (e.g. the person is very withdrawn, cancels meetings, seems down, depressed, ...). Use first-person messages and don't judge the person, even if you may not be able to understand their feelings and thoughts. If the person does not (yet) want to confide in you, respect their privacy and let them know that you are always available to talk to them.
Listen
If the person starts to talk about their issues, listen and let them finish in peace. Also endure quiet moments. Sometimes feelings and thoughts need some time to be put into words. Let the person know that you are unbiased, that you take them seriously and that they can talk to you freely without fear of judgment.
Offer to provide information
If the person agrees, offer them information on the subject of depressive symptoms. Only information, do not diagnose! Work with first-person messages. If they do not want any information, respect this. Also give her information about professional support services, such as counseling centers.
Reactivate resources
Explore together with the person how you want to stay. Ask them whether other people, e.g. friends or family, can support them. Encourage them to use self-help strategies. Perhaps the person has often been in phases when they were unwell and you can ask them if there is anything that helped them then and could help them now. However, keep their condition in mind!
General tips for dealing with people affected by depressive symptoms
Be aware that the self-assessment and self-perception of the person affected can be distorted.
Situations and events are often classified as negative in a way that is typical of the illness.
Be aware that every depression can manifest itself individually and that not all symptoms necessarily apply to the person affected.
As the level of suffering for many sufferers has to become very high before they seek help on their own, you should also motivate the person concerned to seek help. However, also respect them if they do not (yet) want to do this.
It is also important that you do not disregard your own health and resilience. For example, feelings of shame and guilt or the emotional withdrawal of the person with the illness are further challenges that you need to learn to deal with.
You should admit to yourself if you also need help because of the situation described above and should accept it. This includes, for example, self-help groups for relatives or psychotherapeutic support.
Motivate the person concerned to see a professional doctor or therapist rather than taking on the role of therapist yourself.
Don't put further pressure on the person concerned by saying things like "pull yourself together" or "it's not so bad right now". Show understanding and acceptance.
Help the person affected with everyday tasks if help is needed. However, you don't have to do everything. Communicate with the person concerned what they would like to do themselves. This strengthens the feeling of self-efficacy.
Do not persuade the person concerned to do things such as go on vacation, as the depressive symptoms can worsen in unfamiliar surroundings.
Remember that rejections are due to the illness. You should therefore not take them personally.
Take suicidal statements seriously, as a suicide attempt is announced in 80% of cases.
If you suspect a suicide plan, talk to the person concerned about it. Talking about it can have a relieving effect. Under no circumstances should you leave the person concerned alone. If you hear about suicidal thoughts, contact counseling centers, e.g. the telephone counseling service: 0800.1110111/ 0800.1110222 . You can find further points of contact under Immediate help and points of contact. In the event of acute suicidal tendencies, you can and should call the emergency number (112)!
Bullshit Bingo
Mutmach-Bingo
Deutsche Depressionsliga (2023). Es kann jede und reden treffen. https://depressionsliga.de/depression-was-nun/ (Abgerufen am 04.10.2023)
Hautzinger, M & Zwick, J. (2018). Dem Leben wieder Farbe geben. Ort: Beltz
Johnstone, A. & Johnstone M. (2009). Mit dem schwarzen Hund leben. Ort: Kunstmann.