Experience of loneliness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Experience of loneliness

In science, loneliness describes the subjectively perceived discrepancy between desired and actual social relationships, i.e. the subjective feeling of being alone. Loneliness is differentiated into three categories:

Emotional loneliness (intimate loneliness)
Affects very close relationships such as partners and close friends

Social loneliness (relational loneliness).
Affects the wider circle of friends & other personal relationships.

Collective loneliness
Refers to the global sense of belonging or the lack of a sense of belonging to society.

Social isolation, which refers to the objective state of being alone, is to be distinguished from loneliness. Many people enjoy being alone without it being an emotional burden. And conversely, there are people who feel lonely even though they objectively live in a large social network.

When is loneliness bad for your health?

Feeling lonely from time to time is completely normal and not pathological. However, if the feeling of loneliness becomes chronic, it can have a negative impact on your health. There is no measure of when this point is reached, but there are important warning signs:

  • Are you avoiding contact with others?
  • Are you looking for excuses to turn down invitations?
  • Are you pushing others away to protect yourself?
  • Do you behave as if you are under attack?
  • Are you actively looking for contacts or have you already accepted your fate and given up?
  • Do you feel that you are suffering enormously from the situation?

If this is the case for you, you can contact the following services:

Tips
  • Structured daily routine - for example, set your alarm clock at the same time every day instead of just living in the day and make a plan of what you want to do today.
  • Keep in touch - Use your phone to call or write to friends or family again.
  • Make someone happy - When was the last time you sent a postcard or parcel? Use this time to make someone else happy, and therefore yourself as well.
  • Start a new project - maybe you've always wanted to learn a new language or learn to knit? There are so many new things to discover that you can do on your own. Now is the perfect time!
  • (Online) game night - Meet up with your friends online to play games together.
  • Reminisce about good times - You can reminisce with old photos, videos or even music and bring good times back to your memory. You can also share your memories with others!

  • Blaszcyk, W., Lesener, T., Müller, J., Neben, D., Sprenger, M., Dastan, B., Diering, L.-E., Jochmann, A., Juchem, C., Stammkötter, K., Stauch, M., Wolter, C., & Gusy, B. (2022). How healthy are students at the University of Kaiserslautern? Results of the survey 06/21 (Publication series of the AB Public Health: Prevention and Psychosocial Health Research: No. 04/P21). Berlin: Free University of Berlin.
  • Luhmann, M. & Bücker, S. (2019). Loneliness and social isolation in old age. Accessed on 29.03.2021 at http://www.pml.psy.rub.de/mam/content/abschlussbericht_einsamkeit_im_hohen_alter_onlineversion.pdf.
  • Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218-227. doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010- 9210-8
  • Peplau, L. A., & Perlman, D. (Eds.). (1982). Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research, and therapy. New York: Wiley Interscience.